What Your Woman in Menopause is Going Through

 by Margaret Aranda, MD, Ph.D.


What are some important things that every husband should know about menopause and how it affects a woman? (Hint: it has to do with how a man is affected) Well, I think the most important thing is that it can cause vaginal dryness, which leads to pain on intercourse. Some women complain that having sex feels 'like a knife stabbing me'. Really. It HURTS, and that's no fun for either partner. And there are other issues, too. Besides the frustration, humiliation, and resentment, and rage that festers. This is discussed in more length in my newest book, out NOW and available on www.drmargaretaranda.tateauthor.com/other-works). Men, want to stop feeling like you work, take pre-teens driving as a carpool, pay for this and that, and your wife is sweating so much that she has to sleep on another bed? In another room? 

Menopause = 1) male manopause, after prostatectomy  +/- irradiation/chemotherapy/orchiectomy; 2) female menopause, after hysterectomy with uterus and ovaries removed (that's a whole different story); and 3) oophorectomy (ovaries removed due to ovarian cancer).

I have noticed, for example, that a postmenopausal woman can be talking to me at night, and indeed let's make that a ~ cool ~ night with a breeze.  Her upper lip and forehead are covered with sweat.  In fact, her upper eyebrows and neck glisten in the moonlight.  I innocently ask (during our conversation on menopause), "Do you get hot flashes?"

She says, "No, I never get hot flashes."

So I ask, "Do you have pain with intercourse?"  Well, no big response there.  I persist, "Do you enjoy sex?"  She scoffs, "I could take it or leave it." She practically explodes at me!" " I just have sex to make my husband happy, but if it was up to me, I wouldn't even have sex.  And I would not miss it."  She smiles ever so gently. "Ugh!"

So I back up again, "Well, why don't you enjoy it?"  

She thinks.  

She hesitates.  

I wait, patiently.  

"Well, I guess that it just doesn't feel good."  

Results are in from Menopause, The Blog, which you can Click Here to Read.  While millions of women in the USA may have vaginal atrophy from a decrease of estrogen production after menopause, only about an estimated 7% are getting treatment!  This is simply astounding to me!  If you are a husband and your wife is complaining that having sex hurts during menopause, then this affects you as a man.

Studies show that a woman is reluctant to discuss the situation with her doctor, and doctors are reluctant to discuss it with their patients. So what is a man to do?

Firstly, we are reminded once again that with education comes empowerment. Now that you know that your wife could be having this problem, it may be good to talk to her about it. It could be that a woman does not realize that she has vaginal dryness.  The change could have happened so gradually over the perimenopausal years, that she does not realize that she actually has pain on intercourse, or dyspareunia.   So let's just step back a moment and realize that vaginal dryness, vaginal atrophy, and pain on intercourse ~ all these things can happen.  It's ok.  It can happen overnight from surgery, or it can happen over 15 years of natural menopause, naturally, as the ovaries are still secreting hormones. This is when the woman is most likely to be unaware that she is even IN menopause!

Men and Women just need to realize, like the perspiring woman who says she does not get hot flashes, that a woman's body continues to change with time. Men need to continue to be attuned to their woman's body.  Why?  Because menopause can riddle a woman's life with insomnia, restlessness, agitation, depression, hot flashes by day, sweats by night, pain on intercourse, vaginal dryness, dry skin, and general irritability. To name a few. And does that affect a man's sex life? Uhh.

Women can spend fully one-third of their lives in menopause.  

That's a long time to suffer unnecessarily. 

I know it affects you, because it has to affect you.

So we'd better get 'good' at being IN menopause, yes?  

Let's do!

________________

Articles by Margaret Aranda, MD, Ph.D.

Promoting the Concept of Having it All

Understanding Low Sexual Desire in Women

My! What Long Telomeres You Have!
Eating for Anti-Inflammatory Benefit: The IF Tracker
What a Man Should Know about Menopause

Male Menopause: Andropause
Eating for Anti-Inflammatory Benefit: The IF Tracker

The Waist-to-Hip Ratio: To Save or to Kill

Heart Attacks in the USA: Call 911

The History of the Low-Glycemic Index Diet

The Prostate: Genetic Marker for Cancer

Medical Disclaimer: Nothing on this website is meant to diagnose, treat, or practice medicine. You must be seen in person by a physician for appropriate and individual medical treatment. If you have an emergency, call 9-1-1 in the USA.

Link Disclaimer: We are not responsible for any links that go outside of this website.

Archives of the Vagina: A Journey through Time

by Dr. Margaret Aranda

For my Caring Friends, here's a preview of my newest book, written before the doctor dropped me on the floor in March, 2013. I wrote this book (many of you will understand) because I'm not sure if I'll live long enough to see my daughter live through all the stages of womanhood: the maiden, the mother, and the crone. It will be certain to help husbands understand their wives go through menopause, and help their daughters go through menstruation. Especially if both are happening at the same time.

                                   Book Cover Photo. Archives of the Vagina: A Journey through Time.

The book starts with my first period, and is very tongue-in-cheek humorous, because all girls know where they were when they started their first period. Then I go through history, sociology, anatomy, and the endocrinology of the ovaries.

I discuss what Aristotle thought of menstruation and menopause, how William T. Stead is a hero we never hear about for rescuing children out of prostitution in London's brothels. This book is filled with the sociology of menstruation, including whether women on their periods can fly a plane, and whether women who are camping on their periods attract bear attacks that lead to death.

One of the most surprising statistics that I learned in my research and interviews of women is that in the USA, in women over 45 years old, 40% have had a hysterectomy. Of these, nearly 50% have had normal ovaries removed without proper Informed Consent. I dedicate an entire chapter to "Ovarian Conservation" (i.e., keeping your ovaries), and give you all the risk factors you need to know so you can put yourself on the Chart to see if you are at risk for ovarian cancer, and hence should get them removed. So my next book will be Hysterectomy can be Hell. I hope to get an Army behind me on this one, because it will take a Movement to change our culture. And changing a culture always means that people won't like you. Believe me. I've been there before.

I discuss the HPV vaccination for girls aged 11-12, starting your period, how to put in a tampon, and introduce what most people don't know: the menstrual cup, and the nondisposable pad. I promote a certain program that helps girls in Africa obtain menstrual pads so they don't have to miss school, be drop-outs, get pregnant, contract HIV, attain a lower socioeconomic status, and die earlier than the girls that are more educated. So expect a Movement there, too.

I go through the Women's Health Initiative and basically tear it to shreds, because it had, in my opinion, no application to women in menopause suffering symptoms of vaginal dryness and hot flashes. I let you skip a very medical chapter if you would like, but I also put it in there for medical personnel to evaluate it for themselves. I dissect menopause and give the man's perspective, too, hopefully leading you to more self-discovery and compassionate understanding. Pretty funny stories there, too, my friend.

I have spoken to men who have had over 1,000 sexual partners and still do not know where the woman's urethra is. So I depict it for you explicitly, and explain why you should stay away from it so your woman does not get a urinary tract infection (UTI). Same thing for rectal sex; the rectum is filled with E.Coli bacteria and if you put the penis back into the vagina after rectal sex and it rubs onto the urethra (where the pee comes out), your woman can develop a whopping and bloody UTI. So, save the rectal sex for last. There's more, and it's all in this comprehensive Reference Book.

The last half of the book is dedicated to such things as Invisible Diseases, the Low Glycemic Diet, Immunonutrition and Fish Oil, Telemeres, Living for not only Health & Wellness but also for Quality of Life, Caregiving (and the effects on women, by ethnicity), Long-Term care, and death and dying. I empower you to ask questions, eat Spoon by Spoon, and Don't Fall when you are elderly. I tired of seeing women come into the Operating Room for hip fractures from a fall. You need to know your bone density, and take your Vitamin D or Calcium.

The role of an Endocrinologist in your care can not be underestimated. I also believe that Cenegenics has an excellent program for Concierge Medicine, private pay by cash, that is mostly utilized by Presidents and CEOs of companies. They are mostly men. This needs to change, because there are plenty of millionaire women out there (and wives of CEO men). And women need to stop spending all their time nurturing others, and start spending some time nurturing themselves. So I took all this knowledge in my head and told it to you before my traumatic brain injury and DI occurred; and I thank God that I did it.

There. I said it. My opinion rings throughout this book, and it is backed up by over 200 Stanford-quality references that are NIH-funded. I list them all for you, and many of them are dated in 2012 and 2013. Nothing but the best for you, my friends. Nothing but the best. Be prepared to learn, to grow, and to  ROCK your WORLD. You can ORDER the book at www.drmargaretaranda.tateauthor.com/other-works/

God Bless You in all that you do.

What Aristotle thought of Menopause

Excerpt from Archives of the Vagina: A Journey through Time

A student of Plato, Aristotle (384 BC – 322 BC) had a view of women that would be viewed as rather peculiar today.  He considered women to be unfinished males, ‘deformed’.  

In his Treatise On the Generation of Animals, he viewed menstrual blood as being a lesser sort of semen, writing on male and female secretions: 

“…This much is evident: the menstrual fluid is a residue, and it is the analogous thing in females to the semen in males.  Its behavior shows that this statement is correct.  At the same time of life that semen begins to appear in males and is emitted, the menstrual discharge begins to flow in females, their voice changes and their breasts begin to become conspicuous; and similarly, in the decline of life the power to generate ceases in males and the menstrual discharge ceases in females…”

A novel invention by the Ancient Greeks was a tampon make from a piece of wood entwined with lint wrapped around it; based on written records, these were believed to be used primarily for contraception.  I don’t know, but it sounds like those would hurt.  No wonder they were used for contraception, as the woman was probably injured afterwards and could not have sexual intercourse, I thought.

The Ancient Egyptians are credited with the invention of disposable tampons made from papyrus that were softened (The Period Blog; Utian, 2008).  Tampons were also used by the Byzantine women, who made them out of wool that was softened.  I can’t help but wonder if they knew when to pull them out.  Did they get toxic shock syndrome back then, from keeping them in too long and acquiring bacteria and then sepsis and then death?

Jump to the 1700’s, where the French considered menstrual blood to be seductive, and also a measure of female fertility (Corbin, 1986).  In 1986, Corbin writes:

 “…in 18^th century France, menses was considered to be ‘impregnated with subtle vapors transmitted by the essence of life.  These were particularly seducing, as a woman was ‘dispersing seductive effluvia’ and ‘making an appeal for fertilization.’  Thus societies have celebrated the seductive aroma of menstruation, rather than stifled (it).”

In the early 1800’s, remember that women probably menstruated for less of their lifetime versus now.  Menarche started later, at 17 years of age, and women breastfed much longer, they were pregnant more often, menopause started earlier, and they were more likely to be ill or malnourished.   Today, the age for a girl’s first period is now 13 years old.  The common notion during the 1800's was that menstruation was controlled by lunar phases of the moon (Covington, 2007). 

The attitude of menstruation certainly has changed from the time of Aristotle, yet perhaps Aristotle was ahead of his time in simply talking about it. In talking about it, he gives it credence even though his perceptions were, in today's society, rather primitive. Nonetheless, we can learn from these ideas and use them to recreate our own attitudes. What exactly do we think about menopause today? 

References:

The Period Blog: View The Period Blog here

Alain Corbin.  The Foul and the Fragrant: Odor and the French Social Imagination. Cambridge, Mass.: Harvard University Press, 1986.

Covington, Sharon N.  Infertility Counseling.  A Comprehensive Handbook for Clinicians, 2^nd Edition.  Georgetown University School of Medicine, Washington DV.  Linda Hammer Burns. View Book Here

____________________

Additional Chapters by Dr. Margaret Aranda
in
Archives of the Vagina: A Journey through Time

Menopause and Painful Intercourse

The Cochran Report

What Aristotle Thought of Menstruation

From Menarche through Menopause

The History of Menopause

The Different Types of Hysterectomies

Surgical Menopause and Testosterone Therapy

Bears Can Smell the Menstruation: Or Can They?

An "Anti-Inflammatory" Meal

The Ovaries: Endocrine and Reproduction

Women Helping Women

The Virgin and the Maiden Tribute

Menopause, Painful Intercourse, and Vaginal Dryness

Chapter One: From Menopause through Menarche ~ A Journey through Time

Research Questions on Menopause

Research Questions on Menstruation

Medical Disclaimer: Nothing on this website is meant to diagnose, treat, or practice medicine. You must be seen in person by a physician for appropriate and individual medical treatment. If you have an emergency, call 9-1-1 in the USA.

Link Disclaimer: We are not responsible for any links that go outside of this website.

What a Man Should Know about Menopause

by Margaret Aranda, M.D. 

What are some important things that every husband should know about menopause and how it affects a woman? Well, I think the most important thing is that it may cause vaginal dryness, which leads to pain on intercourse. Some women complain that having sex feels 'like a knife stabbing me'. Really. It can hurt, and that's no fun for either partner. And there are other issues, too.

I have noticed, for example, that a postmenopausal woman can be talking to me at night, and indeed let's make that a ~ cool ~ night with a breeze.  Her upper lip and forehead are covered with sweat.  In fact, her upper eyebrows and neck glisten in the moonlight.  I innocently ask (during our conversation on menopause), "Do you get hot flashes?"

She says, "No, I never get hot flashes."

So I ask, "Do you have pain with intercourse?"  Well, no big response there.  I persist, "Do you enjoy sex?"  She scoffs, "I could take it or leave it.  I just have sex to make my husband happy, but if it was up to me, I wouldn't even have sex.  And I would not miss it."  She smiles ever so gently.  

So I back up again, "Well, why don't you enjoy it?"  

She thinks.  

She hesitates.  

I wait, patiently.  

"Well, I guess that it just doesn't feel good."  

Results are in from Menopause, The Blog, which you can Click Here to Read.  While millions of women in the USA may have vaginal atrophy from a decrease of estrogen production after menopause, only about an estimated 7% are getting treatment!  This is simply astounding to me!  If you are a husband and your wife is complaining that having sex hurts during menopause, then this affects you as a man. Studies show that a woman is reluctant to discuss the situation with her doctor, and doctors can be reluctant to discuss it with their patients. So what is a man to do?

Firstly, we are reminded once again that with education comes empowerment. Now that you know that your wife could be having this problem, it may be good to talk to her about it. It could be that a woman does not realize that she has vaginal dryness.  The change could have happened so gradually over the perimenopausal years, that she does not realize that she actually has pain on intercourse, or dyspareunia.   So let's just step back a moment and realize that vaginal dryness, vaginal atrophy, and pain on intercourse ~ all these things can happen.  It's ok.  

We just need to realize, like the perspiring woman who says she does not get hot flashes, that a woman's body continues to change with time. Men need to continue to be attuned to their woman's body.  Why? Because menopause can riddle a woman's life with insomnia, restlessness, agitation, depression, hot flashes by day, sweats by night, pain on intercourse, vaginal dryness, dry skin, and general irritability. To name a few.

Women can spend fully one-third of their lives in menopause.  

That's a long time to suffer unnecessarily. 

I know it affects you, because it has to affect you.

So we'd better get 'good' at being IN menopause, yes?  

Let's do!

________________

Chapters in Archives of theVagina:
A Journey through Time,
 by Margaret Aranda, MD:

Promoting the Concept of Having it All

Understanding Low Sexual Desire in Women

My! What Long Telomeres You Have!
Eating for Anti-Inflammatory Benefit: The IF Tracker
What a Man Should Know about Menopause

Male Menopause: Andropause
Eating for Anti-Inflammatory Benefit: The IF Tracker

The Waist-to-Hip Ratio: To Save or to Kill

Heart Attacks in the USA: Call 911

The History of the Low-Glycemic Index Diet

The Prostate: Genetic Marker for Cancer

Medical Disclaimer: Nothing on this website is meant to diagnose, treat, or practice medicine. You must be seen in person by a physician for appropriate and individual medical treatment. If you have an emergency, call 9-1-1 in the USA.

Link Disclaimer: We are not responsible for any links that go outside of this website.

Eating for Anti-Inflammatory Benefit: The IF Tracker

by Dr. Margaret Aranda

Just a short blurb here about the IF Tracker Ap. For $5.99, you enter each and every food or drink that you consume in a day.  The IF Tracker then assigns an 'inflammatory' or...as the case may be, an "anti-inflammatory' number to each food you eat.  I've been on the Low-Glycemic Index Diet for about two months now, and I don't think that I will ever go back to eating the way that I did before (that was a Pre-Diabetic diet, and No Thank You!)  There are 2,200 foods pre-wired in to the Ap, and it is very user-friendly.  How did I learn about it?  From the Cenegenics Times quarterly Newsletter, of course.

For example, on Day One, I ended up with 1,200 positive points, only because I ate Atlantic salmon for dinner.  Surprisingly, my boiled egg, yogurt, salad, and carrots did not add up to much on the anti-inflammatory roster. None of these foods do much to 'add' to the anti-inflammation aspects of your diet.

On Day Two, I ate salmon, carrots, and salad too, but this time I skipped items that did not land me in the 'positive' range.  So at the end of the day, I could still drink my coffee with half-and-half, and wala! I'm 2,400 + points toward anti-inflammation.

I had no idea that peas, grapes, and papaya don't do much for me here.  It's the Serrano peppers, onions, garlic, olive oil, and fish that add in by adding a huge positive value to the roster.  Especially the fish. Wow, I can't believe how good fish is for you, and after only two days of the IF Tracker, I'm hooked.

Here's my dinner tonight:

FOOD	PORTION	IF VALUE
Atlantic Salmon, farm-raised	4 oz	1,182
Olive Oil	2 tsp	53
Baby Carrots	¼ cup	39
Dill, fresh	¼ tsp	39
Garlic, raw	1/8 tsp	9
Onions, raw	1/8 cup	73
Tomatoes, cooked	2 tbsp	2
Papaya, fresh	1 1/3 tbsp	3
Cilantro	1 1/3 tsp	3
White flour, unbleached	¾ tsp	-3

Add to the above: lox for breakfast with cup of coffee; almond snack; tuna salad with lettuce and tomatoes, zucchini, carrots.

My total IF Tracker points for the day? 2,479.

Calories = 1,104

Fat (g) = 72

Protein (g) = 79

Carbs (g) = 39

I'm loving this! I know that I still have a long way to go to really 'get' this, but hey, it's only Day Two!

The kids eat the whole plate, company raves aloud, and everyone feels great after a meal!

Here's the Menu:

Salmon and Olives, with Olive Sauce

Papaya and Tomato Salsa, Cilantro Bits

Baby Carrots, Garlic, Parsley, and Dill Weed

Mmmmm!  This dinner is a keeper!

________________

Articles by Margaret Aranda, MD, Ph.D.:

Promoting the Concept of Having it All

Understanding Low Sexual Desire in Women

My! What Long Telomeres You Have!

Eating for Anti-Inflammatory Benefit: The IF Tracker

What a Man Should Know about Menopause

Male Menopause: Andropause

Eating for Anti-Inflammatory Benefit: The IF Tracker

The Waist-to-Hip Ratio: To Save or to Kill

Heart Attacks in the USA: Call 911

The History of the Low-Glycemic Index Diet

The Prostate: Genetic Marker for Cancer

Medical Disclaimer: Nothing on this website is meant to diagnose, treat, or practice medicine. You must be seen in person by a physician for appropriate and individual medical treatment. If you have an emergency, call 9-1-1 in the USA.

Link Disclaimer: We are not responsible for any links that go outside of this website.